So this weekend is the showcase of the immortals, the show of shows, the one show all wrestling fans casual and hardcore alike look forward to. That’s right its WRESTLEMANIA!!!!
And ummmmm im kinda lukewarm on the whole thing this year. This year’s card, more than ever feels way too formulaic and predictable. Everything seems aimed to appease the type of fan who only came in to watch within the last month or two and wont watch anymore two weeks after Mania. Well that is until next year when Mania season comes. There’s no true long form programs reaching their climax and none of the matches IMHO have any real weight to them that could mean something for the fans who will be watching in the months afterwards.
First off let’s talk about the fact that we have a show that starts at 5pm and will likely go to maybe 12am. Im sorry but as much as I love wrestling, a show that goes that long, especially given the fact that I just viewed 3hrs of RAW on Monday, 2hrs of SmackDown on Tuesday, 1hr of 205 LIVE after SmackDown, 30 mins of Talking Smack after that, 1hr NXT on Wednesday, Bring it to the Table on Thursday, Hall of Fame on Friday, and then NXT Takeover on Saturday night….well I guess you get the point. There’s going to be a bit of WWE fatigue by the time Sunday comes.
Then to have to sit through performances by Pitbull, Flo Rida, and more. It’s just a bit too much. Especially when these musical acts extend the show’s length and also bump good matches off the main card. But let’s go over that card and give my predictions and opinions.
Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal: Yes there’s a whole lot of names in this match. But none of them matter because the man who WILL WIN this has to be Braun Strowman. They have pushed this man as a monster for the better part of a year, then fed him to Roman Reigns which hurt him. So he needs this win to continue to be seen as legitimate.
SmackDown Women’s Title Six Pack Challenge Alexa Bliss v Naomi v Mickie James v Carmella v Natalya v Becky Lynch: Im actually glad I waited until after last night’s SmackDown to post this because my whole opinion of this match changed with the return of Naomi. At first I felt that maybe Asuka from NXT would be coming up as a surprise seeing as how she worked the SmackDown house shows leading up to the event. But Naomi’s return and now the match being made into a six pack challenge eliminates that idea. So with this being her hometown and she made a big return, I see Naomi taking this. If not Naomi, it will be Becky Lynch who gets the pin on Naomi, which then creates the feud going forward.
WWE Cruiserweight Title Neville v Austin Aries: Please tell me why Neville and Austin Aries are on the pre show!!!! And it’s the only cruiserweight match on the entire card? WWE has botched this whole cruiserweight deal by not letting them have time to showcase themselves. I have no doubt this match will be good, and it is the show that leads into the main card but I feel the cruiserweight division deserves better. My prediction is that Neville retains because he’s the best thing going in that division right now.
RAW Tag Team Championship Gallows & Anderson v Enzo & Cass v Cesaro & Sheamus LADDER MATCH: These titles mean nothing. None of the teams are enjoyable. I could care less. And its not because The New Day isnt in the match, because I feel they are done anyways. My opinion is that Gallows and Anderson should retain, but the belts will likely go to Enzo and Cass as the feel good way to start the show.
Intercontinental Championship Dean Ambrose v Baron Corbin: Let’s be real, Ambrose’s star has fallen and his schtick is goofy now. This isnt the guy I believed in two years ago when he took HHH to the limit at Roadblock. This isnt the guy who had an amazing program with Rollins for a whole summer. We need him to go back to more Moxley type stuff and get away from what he’s currently doing. Corbin wins because he’s earned it.
United States Championship Chris Jericho v Kevin Owens: This has been one of the more believable programs heading into the show because we saw these two on top of the world and then the breakdown of their friendship over the last few months. I dont doubt they will put on a good show with amazing ring psychology but we all know this is Jericho doing what he does best, and thats giving new talent the rub. Owens takes the belt.
RAW Women’s Championship Bayley v Charlotte v Sasha Banks v Nia Jax Fatal Four Way Elimination Match: There’s been way too much hot potato with this belt lately. And the compelling story of Charlotte being undefeated at PPV was wasted at Fastlane, so now the only real story is when and how during the course of this match will Sasha turn on Bayley. Jax will likely go first. Then Sasha will turn on Bayley, leaving Charlotte v Sasha at the end, and Charlotte will get the job done. But the story going forward will be Sasha v Bayley to get to Charlotte.
AJ Styles v Shane McMahon: So what’s Shane going to jump off of? How lazy will his punches look. I respect the man’s work ethic, but he doesn’t have what it takes to keep up with Styles. Will be entertaining but Styles hits a springboard 450, a Styles clash, and a forearm. Match over.
HHH v Seth Rollins non-sanctioned match: I hate Rollins is hurt and almost missed Mania again. And I give HHH props for still finding a way to give Rollins a spot on the card. But dont sell shirts calling yourself Kingslayer and then lose. I think Rollins wins somehow. But I hope HHH has a bad ass entrance.
John Cena & Nikki Bella v Miz & Maryse: The Miz has been doing the best work of his career this last year, he is without a doubt one of if not the best pure heel on the entire roster. And him and Cena have been exchanging barbs the last few weeks that definitely blur the kayfabe line. I know Cena and Nikki win. Cena will likely propose afterwards, which has been the story the entire time. It will create social media and television buzz. It will be good for WWE and E! network. All brands will be satisfied.
Undertaker v Roman Reigns: Look im just gonna say it. Taker is old. It’s showing badly. I have ZERO problems with Reigns beating Taker. Dare I say I want him to win but only if this leads to full on heel Reigns. The fans are going to hate him anyways, let’s give them a reason.
Universal Championship Goldberg v Brock Lesnar: Goldberg gets gassed running to the ring and doing two moves. Get this crap outta here. Its just an attraction match thats not attractive. Lesnar wins.
WWE Championship Bray Wyatt v Randy Orton: At least the show is closing on a real match. They have gone a little overboard with some of the supernatural stuff lately but I look forward to seeing what these two can do. All these years later and Orton remains super clean and a safe worker. I would love to see Bray retain, but its looking like this might be the start of Orton’s championship run.
Thats all folks. Missing is a SmackDown Tag Title match….why? Oh because those guys are all in the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal. What kind of crap is that?! Look, you wanna spice up the SmackDown Tag Division? BRING UP THE REVIVAL!! Do it now.
So what do you all think?